Seeking Intimacy Amid Parental Duties in Charleston
A Charleston local, faced with the challenge of maintaining intimacy with his wife with their children in the house, sought advice from Dr. Jane Guyn, a recognized relationship coach from Oregon. The issue raised involved the man’s wife’s discomfort to initiate physical intimacy when their children are in the vicinity, even if they are in separate rooms. This predicament has posed a roadblock to their intimate relationship, proving to be a common concern among couples, according to Dr. Jane.
Sex and Parenting
Dr. Jane explained that societal norms have caused a discomfort connected to our sexuality and children. Many believe that knowledge of their parents’ sex life can have damaging effects on the children. It is typical for women to find it challenging to balance their maternal responsibilities and expressing their sexuality simultaneously. It is often on vacations or hotel stays
– distanced from their roles as mothers – that they can unwind and reconnect with their spouses.
Solutions for a Balanced Intimate Life
Dr. Jane suggested a two-pronged approach to mitigate this issue and balance parenting and maintaining a healthy sex life. The first involves having an open conversation, a fundamental dialogue about adult intimacy with the kids. Parents can make it clear that they need private time alone without encroaching on the child’s comfort or sparking anxiety. Over time, parents can gradually transition these private times into intimate moments with their partners.
The second approach involves fostering a sense of privacy. Parents should teach their children to respect privacy and knock before entering any private spaces in the house. This practice allows everyone in the house to value each other’s private space and fosters a sense of trust in children about personal exploration. It also sends a positive message to the children about privacy, which will benefit the parents’ intimate relationship with each other.
The Road Ahead
By implementing these strategies, Dr. Jane believes that couples will find the balance they need to maintain a healthy intimate life, even with children around. They will also set a good example for their children of what a healthy intimate life between partners looks like. Many couples face this very issue, and through open dialogue and a respect for privacy, they can find a delicate balance. These tips provide a feasible solution for couples navigating intimacy and parenting simultaneously.
